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kristen

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[10 Oct 2004|06:17pm]
How can I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I stand here

Taking every breath with you
You're the only one who really knew me at all

How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave?
'cause we shared the laughter and the pain
And even shared the tears
You're the only one who really new me at all

So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space
There's nothing left here to remind me
just the memory of your face
Take a look at me now
there's just an empty space
you coming back to me is against the odds
and that's what i've gotta face
broken dreams

what what bitch? [02 Oct 2004|11:04am]
[ mood | high ]

Im feeling a lot better now.

....Everything is starting to make sence to me.

1 |broken dreams

[22 Sep 2004|05:30pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

i guess we wernt ment to beeeeeee :/

i tell you that i need you but it doesnt faze you. once again you've made promises you cant keep, but i guess we all make thos kinds of promises..you said ud be here for me until i got threw all of this...and you arnt, not at all...whatever tho you've moved on already, so fast. Thats good you dont need me anymore tho. i still love you.

1 |broken dreams

[18 Sep 2004|12:04pm]
[ mood | blah ]

She doesnt love you. Cry yourself awake. See the truth through falling tears.

broken dreams

[07 Sep 2004|06:28pm]
[ mood | jealous ]

I see you and i cant even look you in the eye bc it hurts me so bad. i wish it wasnt like this, but i guess we just wernt ment to be..you tell me you care and that you wanna work things out, but your always with her now.....its just better if we arnt even friends anymore, i cant take the pain....i still always wanna know where u r, who ur with,what ur thinkin and hopin maybe its me? :/  but i cant. i cant handle this, i didnt want it to be like this, im sorry i couldnt be good enough for you, or treat you like you should have been treated. I hope you can find that girl who makes you happy and treats you good and loves you as much as i do, it hurts so fuckin bad to say that, but i cant be selfish anymore....i just want you to be happy now and not have to go threw any pain. Its cute how you still wanna be friends bc you think we could be so tite..but honestly i cant do that, not now atleast.

 

I love you Amber, and always will.

1 |broken dreams

Watch me stand on my own again.....with out you. [06 Sep 2004|09:29am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep.
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me

broken dreams

i think you will read this... [01 Sep 2004|05:24pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I did this to my self so now i deserve all this pain...

"Idk Kristen, Maybe you run everyone off" ahhhh...i do i so fucking do....

 

I hope your happy now, im sorry i did this to you, we coulda been so much better. but once again i had to fuk things up with everyone and everything.

 

Whats the point in anything anymore.

5 |broken dreams

your so beautiful [24 Aug 2004|06:47pm]
[ mood | good ]

the words have been drained from this pencil...sweet words that i want to give you...and i cant sleep...i need to tell you...when were together i feel perfect...when im far away away from you i fall apart... your eyes are so blue i can't look away, as we lay in the stillness....you whisper to me...baby, ...promise you'll stay with me....oh you dont have to ask me...you know your all that i live for...you know i'd die just to hold you, stay with you, somehow i'll show you...that you are my night sky...i've always been right behind you...now i'll always be right beside you....so many nights i've cried myself to sleep...now that you love me, i love myself....i never thought i would say that...i never thought i'd need you.

 

i cant even explain the feelin you give me.....its incredible

broken dreams

[17 Aug 2004|11:09pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Im sorry i cant be what you want me to be, i cant give you everything that you need or want, but im tryin to be so good for you, but it just doesnt look like i am?

....idk why but it hurts when you tell me you dont care, like a stabb in the stomach. i just need you to be here for me right now more than ever please, i know that im not makin things easy for either one of us right now but things are just really confussing right now and im sorry for all this shitt.....i love you

 

so yah i really dont know what to do about anything anymore, its all so confussing  REEEENY REEEENY REEENNY LJ BITCHING WOOT WOOT! im done...well im really not i havnt even gotten started but thats enough for today.

 

oh yah i start counseling again......i wonder how this will go.

broken dreams

shes soooo hottt....whew.... [13 Aug 2004|12:12pm]

2 |broken dreams

all i wanna do is wake up with you next to me...... [24 Jul 2004|10:46pm]
[ mood | crazy in love with her. ]

middle school was the worst time of my life. i hated it with a passion. i was going threw a lot of hard shit and it sucked pretty bad. but the only thing that probally kept me going was kailee h. for sum reason i went to her for all my problems and she was always there for me and i really appreciated that. i never told her thank you, it prolly didnt seem like much to her but it ment a lot to me, more than she'll ever know. i know me and you arnt that great of friends anymore but i wish we were. i was talkin to Amber about this a week or so ago and i relized i never thanked you. Thank you, seriously.

 

Anywhooooo....on a happyer note....this weekend has been pretty grand. amber stayed the night 2 nights in a row,we have had a  lot of fun lol. the funnyest thing so far is...she fell a sleep and i was video taping her while she was sleeping and then i screamed and i scared her pretty damn bad...glad i got that one on tape..haha..Tonite me and her went to go see A Cinderlla's Story or sumthing like that, it was actually not that bad. cute. well hmmm i think im gonna go put a movie in or sumthing. duece mutha fuka

1 |broken dreams

KAILEE WANTED ME TO PUT THESE ON HERE.... [14 Jul 2004|01:56pm]
haha damn these are so old...fun times tho fo real
1 |broken dreams

amber+kristen [12 Jul 2004|08:22pm]
[ mood | dirty ]

The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful 
Stop me and steal my breath 
And emeralds from mountains thrust towards the sky
Never revealing their depth
Tell me that we belong together 
Dress it up with the trappings of love 
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder 
I'll be love's suicide 
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed
You're my survival, you're my living proof
My love is alive and not dead
Tell me that we belong together
Dress it up with the trappings of love
I'll be captivated, I'll hang from your lips
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above

I'll be your cryin' shoulder 
I'll be love's suicide 
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

And I've dropped out, I've burned up
I fought my way back from the dead
Tuned in, turned on
Remembered the things that you said

I'll be your cryin' shoulder 
I'll be love's suicide 
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your...
I'll be your cryin' shoulder 
I'll be love's suicide 
I'll be better when I'm older
I'll be the greatest fan of your life

The greatest fan of your life
 
I love you babe, im glad we are working things out. It feels so good being with you. :)
2 |broken dreams

My dads callin me a lobster...bitchass [11 Jul 2004|09:57am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Wow i really think i hate the sun, i never go out bc idk im lazy, and the one day i went out i got burnt like a mutha fuka...hah it hurts so bad. oh well tho. ill be back at the lake soon, i kno i will.

 

i miss amber.

1 |broken dreams

[06 Jul 2004|12:22am]

I just wanna be happy and not fuckin depressed all the time.

 

whatever though, life goes on right? :)

2 |broken dreams

[01 Jul 2004|03:07pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

 NO MORE BULL SHIT

1 |broken dreams

[22 Jun 2004|11:48am]
[ mood | surprised ]

i love it.

3 |broken dreams

man i hate these things. [13 Jun 2004|12:39am]
[ mood | high ]

1) First Grade Teacher: Mrs.Crepps

2) Last word you said: fuck you dick head.

3) Last song you sang: sum NFG song
4) Last person you hugged: my bro

(OH NO! NUMBER 5 DOESN'T EXIST!)

6) Last time you said I love you: today to amber
7) Last time you cried: the night b4 last

8) What's in your CD player: Punk-O-Rama Vol.9

9) What color socks are you wearing: white
10) What's under your bed: who knows

11) What time did you wake up today: 10:10.

(OMG!!11 NOWE 12 EETHERR!!11)

13) Current hair: too long

14) Current clothes: black dickies pants and my blue hurley shirt
15) Current annoyance: uh..

16) Current longing: a nice blunt

17) Current desktop picture: nothing.

18) Current worry: aint even gonna go there
19) Current hate: my life. lol

20) Story behind your username: xLithiumxKC - Lithium is a Nirvana song and KC is Kurt Cobain

21) Current favourite article of clothing: shirt

22) Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex: hmm
23) Last CD that you bought: punk-o-rama...$4.99 BEOTCH
24) Favorite place to be: Anywhere with the people I want.

25) Least favorite place: being home.

(WTF? NO 26!)

27) Do you play an instrument? sorta drums
28) Favorite color: Black.

29) Do you believe in an afterlife: No.

30) How tall are you: 5'6

31) Favorite saying: Nuh uh?
32) Favorite book: I forgot the name..good lesbian book tho :)
33) Favorite season: Summer and end of Winter

34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: The
grandfather I never knew.

35) Favorite day: Friday and Saturday

36) Where do you want to go: China for the chineese food..oh yah hah

37) What is your career going to be: fuk...manager at mcdonalds..

38) How many kids do you want?: 1 or 2.

39) What kind of car will you have: sumthing that goes
40) Type a line you remember from any book:

41) A random lyric:

(What happened to the numbers?)

If I were a month, I'd be: july

If I were a day of the week: saturday

If I were a time of day, I'd be: 3:26

If I were a planet, I'd be: :)

If I were a direction, I'd be: wat kinda ?'s are these?

If I were a sea animal, I'd be: who cares?
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be: wtf..
If I were a sin, I'd be: a damn jew
If I were a historical figure, I'd be: an old monkey?
If I were a liquid, I'd be: gatorade.

If I were a tree, I'd be: Heh, "Why don't you make like a tree, and get outta
here."

If I were a bird, I'd be: damn shut up

If I were a tool, I'd be: a wrinch?
If I were a flower/plant, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuddddd.......

If I were a kind of weather, I'd be: rainy

If I were a mythical creature i would be: ur ass.

If I were a musical instrument: drums.
If were a color, I'd be: blue

If I were an emotion, I'd be: "I have to pee."

If I were a vegetable, I'd be: a vegetable.

If I were a sound, I'd be:noise

If I were an element, I'd be: element..wth? h20?

If I were a car, I'd be: mustang

If I were a song, I'd be: a bad one.

If I were a movie I'd be: dazed and confussed or almost famous
If I were a book, I'd be: a big book
.

If I were a food, I'd be: chips and dip

If I were a place, I'd be: That island in the movie The Beach.

If I were a material, I'd : cotton.

If I were a taste, I'd be: ::big smile::

If I were a scent, I'd be: ok..

If I were a religion, I'd be: none

If I were an object, I'd be: a circle?

If I were a facial expression I'd be: hah

If I were a subject in school, I'd be: who thinks of this kind of shit?
If I were a cartoon character, I'd be: couldnt tell ya
If I were a shape, I'd be a(n): Guess Christ, I'm getting tired of these If I
were shits.

If I were a number, I'd be: STOP

RELATIONSHIPS
Who is your best friend?: ...

Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No.

1. Where is your favorite place to shop: where cloths r sold
2. Any tattoos or piercings: one in each ear.
1. Do you do drugs?: just smoke.

2. What kind of shampoo do you use?: Dove.

3. What are you most scared of?: hmm idk

4. what are you listening to right now: Nothing.im watching a movie
5. the last person that called you?: amber..

6. where do you want to get married?: who cares?

7. how many buddies are online right now?: 23

8. if you could change anything about yourself, what would it be? the way i look
favorites:
2. pasta: fettacine

3. boys names:Colton

4. girls names: Katie
5. subjects in school: none

6. animals: none.

7. sports: softball.

HAVE YOU EVER
1. given anyone a bath?: lol no
2. smoked?: Si.

3. bungee jumped?: naw

4. made yourself throw up?: no
5. skinny dipping? yup

6: ever been in love?: ya

7. made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: lol yes

8. pictured your crush naked?: Who hasn't?

9. actually seen your crush naked?: hmm lol

10. cried when someone died?: ya.

11. lied: Yeah.

12. FALLEN FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND? naw i dnt htink so..prolly tho
13. been rejected?: to many times

14. rejected someone?: yah
15. used someone?: naw
16. done something you regret?: too many times.

FINAL QUESTIONS
1. do you like filling these out? man i got shit to do..but this is annoying
2. how many people are you sending this to?: no one
3. who will send it back?: no one

4. least likely to send it back?: .

5. gold or silver?: Silver.

6. what was the last film you saw at the movies?: Harry Potter lol
7. favorite cartoon?: recess

8. what did you have for breakfast this morning?: didnt eat ne thing
9. who would you REALLY hate to be locked in a room with? idk i dnt really care
10. who would you love being locked in a room with?: not gonna say.
11. could you live without your computer?: prolly
12. would you color your hair? mhm

13. could you ever get off the computer?: lol.

14. habla espanol?: por que?
15. how many people are on your buddy list?: 200..way to fukin many
16. drink alcohol?: not really..depends wat it is
17. like watching sunrises or sunsets?: depends
18. what hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?: EMOTIONAL!
FOR OR AGAINST
Long distance relationships = maybe

Using someone = Against

Killing people = naw

Teenage smoking = for

Premarital sex = Do what you want.

Driving drunk = As long as you don't fuck up.

Gay/lesbian relationship = FOR
Soap operas = Against.

{END}

4 |broken dreams

GAY PORN!!! [03 Jun 2004|12:02pm]
[ mood | amused ]

This is sumthing Sarah sent me...i found it funny....now i want to share it with yall...READ PLEASE...i kno its long tho..


Tequila

Let that be a lesson to me, Adam thought as he knelt on the floor and put his hands behind him. Tequila and strip poker do not mix. Not after all that other shit we drank tonight. The tequila definitely was a mistake. And, oh yeah, never play poker with Larry.

It had been a close race between him and Bono, but finally Adam had lost. They’d laughingly come up with this stupid game, drunkenly established that the first one naked would be – would have to guess –

Edge tied Adam’s hands behind his back. Larry blindfolded him well.

“Are you ready?” Bono asked. Adam nodded.

He felt the air move as someone approached, felt breath, then soft lips brushing his. Soft – brush – then tongue. The kiss was brief, but teasingly delectable.

“Well?” Edge asked.

Adam wasn’t sure how he knew, but he knew. “Larry.”

“Yes,” Larry said.

Hands on him, from behind. Lightly they stroked his shoulders, his sides, his hips, and then his arse, suddenly gripping hard, massaging his muscles firmly.

Adam let himself respond. “Mmmm. … I think … Bono?”

“No,” Edge said from behind him.

“If he’s wrong, is he punished?” Larry asked.

Adam shivered pleasurably. A sudden hard slap on the rear made him jump.

Pause. Movement. Lips, warm hot mouth, tongue on his neck, tasting, slipping down to his left nipple. Teeth. Christ Jesus, teeth – Adam moaned again, louder this time, wishing he could touch, could –

“Larry again?”

“Right,” Larry said.

Another five-second-long eternity while someone got his courage up. So far nothing irrevocable had happened, but now – a hand slid firmly down his belly, becoming tentative as it reached his erection. “Oh fuck,” Adam breathed as he was gently explored and stroked. “Oh God.”

The hand finally withdrew, and Adam, who had caught a hint of aftershave this time, gasped, “Now Bono. Oh Christ. That was Bono.”

Firm lips clamped to his. An insistent tongue explored, running over Adam’s teeth, brushing his palate, sliding along his own tongue. A hand on his chin steadied him. Fucking incredible, wish I could touch you, see your amazing eyes spark. “Edge,” he panted.

Pause. Oh Christ. He leaned back as a willing mouth engulfed him. Hard lips, small nips made him wince in pleasure. Tongue. Fuck. Who was this bold?

“Bono,” he panted.

Silence. A hard, stinging slap to his arse again. He jumped. It hurt. But he liked it. The second unexpected slap was even more startling – and enjoyable. “Me,” Larry growled in his ear.

Something at his lips now. Oh God. Smooth – hard – he sampled, tasted, then slipped it between his lips, marveling at his own boldness as well as the other person’s. He heard Bono moan, but somehow he knew. “Edge,” he said when he could.

“Yes,” Edge breathed.

Someone else’s erection pressed to his lips. The same but different. He tasted, noting differences in contour as he sucked it in, tongue working. He almost forgot what his object was supposed to be until the body pulled back from him.

“Well?” Edge asked.

“Larry.”

And now the third, although there wasn’t any mystery about who it was. He didn’t want to trick Adam, he only wanted what the other two had sampled, and Adam indulged him before drawing back enough to murmur “Bono” with the head still at his lips.

There was a little whispering. Then a mouth clamped firmly to his. At the moment he drew back just a bit to say the name, a wet mouth greeted his erection, accepting, exploring. He cried aloud and the first mouth returned to his. He was thoroughly kissed while thoroughly sucked, and he was groaning and panting when they both stopped.

“Oh – oh – fuck,” he panted, senses reeling. “Larry above. Bono below.”

“You look fucking incredible like that,” Larry murmured. Adam moaned again. He could tell they were moving about a bit. Another mouth at his cock, roughly now – fuck, how far were they – and then, slippery, cold, a finger opened him, behind.

“Oh Christ!” It was surprisingly thrilling. He couldn’t help thrusting into that firm mouth as a second finger intruded. And then withdrew, as did the mouth.

“Larry in front,” he gasped, shivering. “Oh, God, Larry. Oh God.”

“Behind?” Larry asked.

“Bono?” he guessed.

Another brisk slap. Adam groaned when a second blow fell.

Hands again. Lotion of some kind. Stretching him. This was completely out of control, and he couldn’t have been happier about it. A slippery hand was on him, and a demanding mouth on his. It was too much. He cried, high and frantically, into the mouth as he was squeezed, stroked, and invaded. Fuck – completely overwhelmed.

Everything stopped. He was whimpering, at their mercy. “Oh God, oh please, oh God …”

“Guess,” Larry said.

“Oh. Oh. Bono behind.”

“Yes,” Bono said.

“Larry – kissing – oh fuck – Edge’s hand. Oh Christ. Please, more –”

Edge moaned softly. “More?”

“God, yes, anything, this is fucking incredible. Please.”

They moved him gently toward the bed; his chest just touched it so that, off balance, he wouldn’t fall on his face. And then –

Oh fuck, he was, they were …

He bit his lip, moaning, as someone forced inexorably into him. God, it hurt, but it was incredible. He writhed, gasping, trying to accommodate. He felt the bed shift in front of him, and he was being kissed, just as the pain began to diminish. He was incredibly turned on. He broke into a sweat, moaning against the lips, just as a slippery hand found his cock again. He began to cry aloud, helplessly, deliciously. “God so great I’m going to, please, oh god yes, I’m oh fuck me fuck me –”

The hand, tight; the mouth, so demanding; the thrusts, brutal and incredible. Adam’s orgasm was absolutely magnificent. Every part of his body came. The hand released him; the mouth nibbled gently at his; the thrusting only increased in intensity as someone drove toward climax, harder, Adam still moaning with the pleasure of it, now now now.

Adam rested his head on the bed, panting; his invader withdrew, but held him, slippery body in loving arms.

Finally he gasped, “Larry – kissing. Bono’s hand. Oh, fuck. Edge. Edge. Oh God.”

A shiver ran through the body of the one holding him close. “Right,” Edge murmured against his back. “Oh, my God, Adam.”

Adam caught his breath. He felt amazing, bold, completely liberated. He lifted his blind head. “Who’s next?”

“Oh fuck,” Larry groaned. “Are you sure? Are you okay?”

“God, yes.” A delicious shudder twisted Adam’s whole body, briefly.

“Here.” Edge loosened Adam’s hands. Adam didn’t reach for his blindfold Hands urged him up onto the bed, onto his hands and knees. Hands on his hips. Larry. Larry now, sliding into hot, wet tightness, Larry letting himself moan and speak because the guessing was ended, Larry whispering Adam’s name. Larry, harder, more confident, faster, more insistent. Adam fell to his elbows. His arms were shaking. Larry plundered him to his very depths, his strokes long and deliberate. Adam moaned “God, Larry, fuck me.” Larry groaned, “God Adam – I love you Adam,” and came, hard, deep.

He didn’t move, neither of them moved for a long moment. Larry pulled away and Adam lay down on his side. He reached out. “Larry?” Larry was there, his lips on Adam’s, panting. “Thank you,” Larry gasped. “Thank you.”

Adam reached and found the side of Larry’s face. “I love you, too,” he whispered, and felt Larry nod – felt Larry smile.

“That was amazing to watch,” Edge said quietly. Adam felt Edge kiss his forehead, and then Bono was there too.

Adam grinned. “You’re next,” he said.

“Are you sure?” Bono caressed his shoulder. “We don’t, I don’t want you to be hurt.”

Adam was still smiling. “I’m going to be sore, but I’m not hurt,” he said. “It’s great. But it’s not complete. We’re not done yet.”

Bono kissed him. “Good,” he murmured. “Because I really want to fuck you.”

Adam couldn’t help moaning at that, and moaning again as Bono rolled him onto his back. “Here. No, wait. Turn this way.” Bono arranged him at the side of the bed, and stood, lifting Adam’s legs. Adam groaned again as Bono took him.

“Oh my God,” Bono breathed as soon as he was inside. “You feel so fucking good.”

Adam felt the bed shift, and then he was between two warm bodies, both trying to kiss him at once, their three mouths meeting awkwardly as Bono began, slowly, to move, to make love to him. Edge’s mouth stayed at Adam’s, while Larry’s worked down, licking and biting his neck. Moans in four voices filled the room. Larry continued, down Adam’s chest and on to his newly-burgeoning half-erection, which he quickly made whole.

Adam released Edge’s mouth enough to cry out “Oh, God, Bono – oh my God, Larry –” as they took him, together, as Larry worked with Bono’s rhythm to drive Adam completely mad.

“Mmm, Adam,” came a purr from Edge, and Adam, who was beginning to seriously wonder whether you could go insane from fucking, grabbed Edge’s head and kissed him again, moaning, as Larry’s tongue and lips flung him over the brink. He was almost-screaming through closed lips against Edge’s mouth as he came, as Larry swallowed him, Adam’s body bucking and shaking. Larry was back alongside him, biting Adam’s ear, as Bono began to keen. “God, Adam,” Larry panted, and claimed his mouth in an urgent, sloppy kiss as Bono cried “Yes – yes – yes.”

When Bono crawled up onto the bed to join the rest of them, Edge pulled off the blindfold, and they all held one another as best they could. Larry plastered himself against Adam, holding him tightly; Edge was on the other side, with Adam’s head on his chest. Bono slid close behind Larry and put his arm around him. His hand and Edge’s found each other and squeezed.

“My God,” Bono panted.

“Fucking incredible,” Edge said softly.

“Thank you,” Larry murmured.

“Remind me,” Adam said, more than sated, “to drink tequila more often.”

6 |broken dreams

RRRRAAARRRRR [01 Jun 2004|11:43am]
[ mood | excited ]

WHOOAA its only 11:45 and its already hott as hell out side.....i just layed out for like 30mins trying to tan but it was WAAYY to hott and i had to go back inside...but ambers on her way over and we r gonna go swimming and hopefully i wont be pasty anymore after today...get a lil tan goin on :)

man...iv been talking to sarah this morning and we where talkin about old times...damn i miss her so much...we used to be friggin BEEESTTT FRRIIEEENNDDSS back in the day....and then like when HS came we stopped talking really...and now we talk like every now and then...i wish she still lived behind me and she would come wake me up everymorning..hah...and then we could go play boat with our bikes...so much fun! lol.....we need to get together this summer and hang out..catch up on a bunch of shit! i love you and miss you!!! :( lol


so yah, i went to Corpus this weekend...it was pretty fun...Sunday we went to Feista Texas...that was fun..aw i cant belive Jenna is moving back to OK...that really sucks...and i will prolly never see her again....all these ppl are moving away or moved away..wth...why cant yall just live in one spot!!...

1 |broken dreams

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